My story is simple. I often find myself thinking about decisions and the lack of control often. Perhaps I never feel that I am in control. And therefore, I look at decision-making from a psychology and philosophical perspective. I decided to do a simple version of decisions with <<if>>.

I found Twine easy to use, but then again, I didn’t do anything fancy; focusing on the content below:

“You get to live your authentic self. But many people choose not to. There is no pretense in my words. I am not here to trick you. I want to remind you of a time; a time you can’t recall, a time before you were born, you were in your mother’s womb: no one, including your mother expected anything from you; not your mother, not your father, not your teachers, not even your manufactured sense of self. But you grow up with some kind of notion that there are expectations, you must perform in society, or else you won’t fit in — you grow up inauthentic and there is no sense of ‘you.’ For you to be true, your authentic self, you must unlearn everything you learned up to this point; or else you’ll keep fooling yourself and wonder why is it that no matter what you do, no matter how you act, you just remain unfulfilled, unsettled, unbalanced…

<<if $eat_placebo>>
Here are some drugs to alter the state you’re in. You start hallucinating and feel a sensation of [[love and gratitude]] and your body freaks out. Your body is not used to getting rewarded for being in your body and mind.
Out of fear, you want to get back to your [[reality]]. Your reality is everything you know. You don’t truly want the sensations of love and gratitude because you’re afraid of losing your dearest possession, which is your fearful self, the self constructed by society. Society can’t control you if you don’t fear it.

which is a lot of:

<<if $eat_placebo>>



And the other is:

<<set $eat_placebo to 1>>


I realized that I had to edit a lot along the way, often going back and forth to revise content; wondering what made sense and what didn’t.

Please visit my site to play the game:

NYU 2018–2020